I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
