Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Damn victory sex feels great
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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