In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Four minutes until I can fart!
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Randomize
