Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
