What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I could have mohawked her pubes.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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