yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I need to calm my uterus...
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
