We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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