I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
ok first of all what the fuck
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
