trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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