he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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