All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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