Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize