We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
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