Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
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