dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I AM VODKA MAN
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
did you just send me my own nude
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
