Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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