So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
