Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Randomize
