When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
