it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Randomize
