I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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