She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
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