ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
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