Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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