question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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