I'm so fucking centered right now
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
