Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
