I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I lost the right to judge tonight
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
