Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
