I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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