I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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