took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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