I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
