last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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