worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
