just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
