Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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