apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I licked your asshole in confidence.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
