Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Randomize
