At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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