That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
