He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
