I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
