What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
