I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
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