We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
