I don't think brook has ever known best
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Randomize
