I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
its not stalking. its research.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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