Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
The air taste purple.
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