if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
you will always have a special place in my vag
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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