I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
