I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Randomize
