Do you still have your period?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
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i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
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This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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