this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
My penis needs a shock collar
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
