How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
