You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
