Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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