life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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