I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
