I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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