out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
